My car makes me cry... alot

So... here's a rundown of my awesome day.
slept til....12:00 pm- I'm terribly sick, think I'm dying... take a two hour bath... didn't die
2:00 pm- get out of bath tub because Turkey has taken over my bath with squirting toys and bubble bath barges.
7:00 pm- go to work on my day off because KYLE won't quit breaking bones.. really.. stop. Anyways.. get conned into closing because.... I'm easy.
4:00 am- finally finish closing... start driving home only to find that.. oh!.. my car is a terrorist and against all things that are good and right... like making it home. At this point, my options are limited.
4:30 am- still weighing my options since I lost my phone two weeks ago. I've got time, right?
I could:
a) walk 10 miles home
b) get shot for knocking on some one's door in the middle of the night, or
c) wait for someone to stop. They didn't. Whoever said Texans were friendly and crap was lying to you! I won't rape you for godsakes just give me a ride or something!
Anyways... I finally get home, only to find that I was locked out. Thanks. Good thing I leave my window open, yo.